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Dances With Snakes
Ford's 1978 King Cobra - what else would you expect from the country that invented disco?
by Mike Mueller
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Tom Podemski knows how Rodney Dangerfield feels. A veteran Mustang collector and national show tourer, Podemski can proudly point to a corral full of high-profile ponycars that includes a little of everything from a Boss 302 to a 20th Anniversary hatchback. But when Tom leaves his South Bend, Indiana, garage in one of his most prized Mustangs, he almost always gets no respect even though the car he is driving may well represent the finest restored example of its breed. Why?
Simple. Podemski's pride and joy is a King Cobra, on of those striped, scooped and spoilered pint-sized ponies that came and went in 1978 almost before anyone could say, "man, would that thing look good parked in front of the disco." A prominent product of a time when image truly was everything, the eye-catching King Cobra basically represented Dearborn's last effort to beat a dead horse, that poor animal being Ford's downsized Pinto-based Mustang II, the one member of the herd so many among the Mustang faithful today would just as soon forget.
Who cares that Lee Iacocca's "little jewel" certainly qualified as a valid attempt to restore the original easy-to-handle ponycar ideal, something so many Mustang buyers had been begging for since their favorite car had ballooned to alarming proportions in 1971? Who cars that Motor Trend's editors thought so much of the impish '74 Mustang II they bestowed Ford with MT's coveted "Car of the Year" trophy? Who cares that the economical Mustang II had initially appeared as the right car for the right times, being that the Arab oil embargo had almost overnight turned gasoline into gold? Who cares that first-year sales surpassed 385,000; nearly tripling 1973's total? All that mattered little once the gleam began fading from the gem.
After Mustang II owners found themselves living in truly cramped quarters, many soon began yearning for a happy medium between what was and what had been, a combination that was already well on its way as ponycar production dropped drastically in 1975, then slowly declined in '76 and '77. A 40 percent jump in 1978 mattered not at all as a revamped third-generation Mustang was then ready to roll. And with the Fox-chassis' debut in September of that year came the end of a short road for Ford's second-generation Mustang. Mustang II bashing has been a popular pastime ever since.
Today, those that love the little Mustang II do so unconditionally, while those who couldn't care less couldn't care less. Sadly, for the former folks, they're overwhelmingly outnumbered by the latter, which easily explains why there has been next to no Mustang II interest among collectors. At least until recently.
If there's any one chance for fame and fortune for a Mustang II collector it stands in the form of the King Cobra, easily the most noticeable, most intriguing model let loose during the five-year second-generation run. Sure, from a second-guesser's viewpoint today, the King Cobra certainly can be considered a little silly, a bit garish and a lot overdone, but that was what the late '70s were all about. Just ask John Travolta, the Village People and the Brothers Gibb. Or Pontiac designers, who, with fingers firmly on the '70s pulse, kept their equally garish Trans Am on the cutting edge, with a little help from Burt Reynolds. Pontiac's T/A legacy has never lacked in popularity, a plain fact that undoubtedly inspired Dearborn's image-makers to unashamedly roll out a Trans Am knock-off. Only in Ford's case, the macho appeal behind that dress-up facade wasn't there.
Unlike Pontiac's relatively muscular Trans Am, the '78 King Cobra was a veritable sheep in wolf's clothing, although at the time that all-show, no-go arrangement was the best Ford could offer considering limitations then imposed, both by ever-tightening federal emissions standards and physical laws. At least Pontiac could inject some serious big-block cubes into its Trans Am equation; Ford engineers were only willing to find room beneath a Mustang II hood for the then-underdeveloped 5.0 small-block, a mere shadow of its latter self. Standard for the King Cobra was the 302 two-barrel net rated at 139 horsepower. Torque was an equally humble 250 lbs/ft. Seat-of-the-pants responses were predictable.
"Ten years later and the Ford Mustang Cobra has not only lost it's 'Jet', it [has also] lost its venom," wrote Cars magazine's Don Chaikin. "The car is by no means a fast car. Sorry." Chaikin's test crew could only manage a King Cobra quarter-mile pass of 16.59-seconds at 82.41 mph. Even with veteran pilot Dyno Don Nicholson doing the flogging, Car Craft's day at the track with a King Cobra resulted in a best ET of 17.06/80.69, and that is with rear tire pressure down to 20 pounds. Heck, even Dodge's Li'l Red Express pickup truck was faster. Concluded Car Craft's John Asher, "With the real muscle car era now no more than a memory, cars like the Ford King Cobra are becoming the machismo machines of the late Seventies."
Did that missing muscle make the King Cobra a bad car? Not at all, especially considering how much all that gimmickry helped put this mini-Mustang's face in the late'70s image-conscious race. Priced at $1,277, the King Cobra option added distinctive accent striping, "King Cobra" identification and an outrageous Cobra decal on the hood conveniently reminiscent of Pontiac's so-called "screaming chicken" Trans Am logo. Additional T/A reminders included a rear deck spoiler, wheel opening air deflectors, a front air dam and rearward facing hood scoop.
While the scoop was non-functional, the openings in the air dam were, feeding much-needed cooling air through ducts to the standard power-assisted front discs. Power steering was also standard, as were four nicely attractive lattice-lace 13-inch aluminum wheels bearing Goodyear radials. A polished dash insert and sport steering wheel spruced things up inside. And heavy-duty springs, adjustable Gabriel shocks and a rear stabilizer bar underneath completed the King Cobra package, which, despite its high price, impressed many curbside kibitzers even though it ranked so low in the tire-melting pecking order.
"With it's almost $7,000 price tag," explained Car Craft's Asher, "the King Cobra is far from an economy car, but for the money, few American cars can match it for looks, handling and overall performance." Lauding the car for its nimble stance, Chaikin was quick to point out how well it fit into the late '70s scheme of things. "The King Cobra, besides trying to look like a quasi-Trans Am with a garish hood decal and non-functioning hood scoop, is meant to look like a road racer," he wrote in Cars August 1978 issue. "That's performance today. Going around corners quickly - and looking like you go around corners quickly - is where it's at. And this little King Cobra does just that."
One of about 5,000 built for 1978, Tom and Carol Podemski's King Cobra features a sporty T-top, leather-wrapped steering wheel, digital clock and six-way power seat, all optional equipment that only helped heighten the image - as well as the bottom line- even further 16 years ago. A costly proposition then, an exceptionally expensive restoration project today - that was and is the King Cobra.
Tom is the first to admit he's "put more into the car than it's worth," but he did the job anyway, if only because no one else had. Now that repro companies are offering all the decals and body parts for the King Cobra, perhaps Podemski's efforts will be rewarded someday as more Mustangers begin to recognize the car's significance.
Maybe, maybe not. Only time will tell whether this particular high-profile Mustang II ends up as a valuable collector car of the king of nothing.
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